How to Build a Consistent Meditation Practice (Without Hating Yourself)

If you’re reading this, you’re probably curious about meditation. Maybe you’ve dabbled here and there, or maybe you want to share the space with someone else (like, say, a small group in suburban New Jersey). As someone who’s been on this path for a while, bopping between techniques, gurus, and the occasional predawn wakeup (I’ll explain later), I want to break down the real-world steps that have helped me finally build a steady, sustainable practice. Spoiler: you don’t need to move to a cave in mountains or get up at 4am every day. Unless you want to, that’s your business.

It’s tempting to sample everything on the mindfulness menu: mantras one day, breathwork the next, mindfulness of feelings (vedana) or body scans on Fridays. But as the Tibetan Kagyu masters (and my teacher, David Nichtern, shoutout Dharma Moon!) would say: stabilize one practice for a period of time, then get creative.

Pick a simple practice like mindfulness of the breath or lovingkindness (Metta). Commit to it for a few weeks—don’t stress about doing it “perfectly.” The goal is to make it your daily anchor, something you do when you’re feeling great or if you wake up with a headache or an overly long to-do list.

Early in my meditation adventures, I sat only when I felt “inspired” or “motivated” to practice. Unsurprisingly, my practice was a mess: sometimes at midnight, often skipped if Netflix called louder. The game-changer was scheduling practice at the same time every day, Currently, I sit at 6am every day, before that first cup of tea. When possible, I recommend that you tie your meditation to a daily ritual (right after waking, before work, after brushing teeth). This is a principle I’m borrowing from James Clear and his highly esteemed book Atomic Habits.

Bonus: this routine sends your brain the message, “This matters; this thing is important.” And eventually, it feels less like a chore and more like a subtle celebration of you — however you are when you show up to the practice.

I’m not a luddite, and I’ll admit it: apps are great, and meditation apps are no exception. There are more people meditating these days than any other time in history, and a lot of that can be attributed to apps like Calm, Headspace, or my personal favorite Insight Timer.

You don’t have to live on meditation apps, but tracking your sits—be it a journal, a sticky note, or some digital timer—helps build momentum. (“Hey, I’ve meditated 8 days in a row—no way I’m breaking that streak!”

When my sessions hit 20 minutes a day for 250 straight days, I wasn’t chasing gold stars, but it did feel empowering to acknowledge the consistency. In Mahasi-style Vipassana retreats, diaries/logs are part of the tradition for a reason: accountability works.

I’ll be honest about this: for a long time, meditation didn’t blow my mind. No magical bliss, just… sitting. And it was boring. And my right hip ached. But on days I skipped, I was noticeably more agitated and reactive with my family & coworkers, and even if my clients didn’t notice, I was probably not as unconditionally patient as I typically aimed to be. Over time, I began to notice something… a little more spaciousness around the good, the bad, and the “meh.” When I added Metta at the end of sessions, the benefits seeped into my relationships in surprisingly sweet ways.

It’s like watering a plant — you notice the growth only after many days of invisible root work.

My practice reached a new level when I trained with David Nichtern and the Dharma Moon crew. A little accountability — having someone you check in with, or a group that “expects” updates from you — makes a huge difference. And if you miss a day? Don’t freak out. As David teaches: “these are principles, not rules.” Aim to practice most days (6 out of 7), and make meditation a regular friend, not a tyrant.

Traveling, working late, feeling off? Take the “no matter what” approach, but let it be flexible. Even a five-minute sit counts. Once it’s part of your identity, the urge to keep your streak alive becomes self-reinforcing.

And yes, sometimes you’ll find yourself meditating in weird places (airport lounge, cruise ship balcony, museum café), but that’s the fun of making it part of life, not another item on the to-do list.

• Pick a practice. Stick with it (for now).
• Meditate at the same time every day.
• Track your sits, but don’t obsess.
• Improvements are subtle; trust the process.
• Connect with community or a teacher if you can.
• Don’t chase “perfection.” Just keep sitting.

If you’re interested in joining a group or want more guidance, reach out. Whether you’re a lifelong seeker or a stressed-out New Jerseyan just wondering “how do I even start?”, there’s room for you. 

Remember: keep going, and be gentle with yourself.